One year ago today, I was in labor with Maddie. I can't stop thinking about it, I can recall what we were doing each and every minute of the day. She was born at 12:08 a.m. on July 7, 2009 - but I know precisely what we were doing every minute before and after.
I didn't really prepare for this being so hard - I know I've got a ton more hormones surging through my body right now, but I didn't expect it to be so fresh and raw.
Thank you so much, everyone, for all of your thoughts and love - I probably won't be able to say much tomorrow, but please know that I am so grateful for the outpouring of support. Knowing that so many others love our little girl just means so much more than I can say.
Tuesday, July 06, 2010
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28 comments:
I did the same thing a year after Sarah was born...and it continued for several weeks as I thought of her week in the NICU and all the other horrible events we went through. I wish I had some wisdom to offer but all I have is prayers, love, and lots of virtual hugs.
It makes me feel so much better to know this is normal, Rachel - thank you. Unexpected, but normal. I am sending you so many of each of those back.
Sending thoughts, prayers, & hugs your way...so sorry you're reliving the pain & tragedy of that day.
Oh, Rebecca, thank you so much. I'm sending love and prayers to you, too.
xoxo
Huge ((HUGS))
Thinking of your sweet Maddie~
Thank you so very, very much, Jill and Jen.
With you in spirit and sending you a ton of virtual hugs sweetie. I did the same thing on my girls' birthday, relived every hour and how everything went. I can honestly say the days leading up to it were worse than the actual day, and I hear that alot from other blm's also. Embrace the day the best that you can and try to feel her love surround you, she is with you always. Lots of love, nan xxx
Oh, Nan, thank you - and you're right, the days leading up are so emotional. I'm guessing tomorrow will be much easier than thinking, "This was the last time I went to sleep pregnant," etc. I'm sending you so many virtual hugs back. :)
Just know I will be thinking of Maddie and you and your dh all day. I know she will be with you in spirit. (((hugs)))
Heather, you are so amazing. Thank you so, so much.
Thinking of you and your little angel Maddie.
thinking of you and Maddie ((hugs)). she has a cupcake from Calvin right here :) - http://cupcakes.calvinphoenix.com/2010/07/madeleine-rose-dewaard/
xoxo.
Oh lady, I wish I could hug you... I think what you are feeling is completely to be expected. It is just such a hard thing that no mother should ever have to go through. You and Maddie are in my thoughts today.
Thinking of you and your sweet Maddie girl today. Sending happy birthday thoughts her way!
Much love to you and your family. Sending you Hugs. I know this isnt easy.
Remembering Maddie on her birthday and thinking of you with love.
I'll be thinking about you and Maddie today.... I hope you have a good day all things considered.
~hugs~
I'm already dreading october...
Angie - I am sending love and wishes for a peaceful day for you, both today, and in the days and weeks to come. There are no words to say how truly sorry I am that you lost your beautiful baby girl or to comfort you as you go through the memories of that day - time passes, but those memories will never fade - a truly bittersweet gift. Be gentle with yourself today and know that the candle my kiddos and I light today will be for Maddie, for you, for J., and for Baby A. Happy Birthday to your beautiful Madeleine Rose!
(P.S. I dropped a very small something in the mail to you and J. in hopes that it would arrive today but forgot that there was no mail on Monday - stupid holiday.)
I am just so speechless at all of your love. It means so much to share Maddie's special day with you all.
Sending *hugs* and thinking of Maddie today.
I'm thinking of you and JTD and Maddie lots today and sending you tons of love.
Maddie is up there wishing love on you and Jota.
It touches me so much to think of Maddie and Jota being close, and that she is remembered by you all. I truly mean it.
Happy Birthday Maddie!! Sending lots of love to you. ♥ It is hard to prepare for such a day, if it is even possible at all.
Thinking of you and your daughter during this time...
Sara and Holly, thank you so, so much. Your thoughts and prayers mean so much.
thinking of you and celebrating the small life that still lives through you. *hugs*
I am so late in responding to this, but you know I was thinking of Maddie :) She is Jonathan's birthday buddy since they are so close in date :)
I'm also late in responding to this because I've been MIA for a while, but I wanted you to know I was thinking of you and Maddie. Sending much love and prayers your way!
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