- I didn't know that little girls could pee in a direction, and I am convinced that "pooping for distance" is a sport at which she would excel. That reminds me, I need to get the bedroom curtains dry-cleaned.
- Sometimes, particularly in the middle of the night, I become convinced that the breast pump is talking to me. The fast cycle before letdown usually says "Krabby Patty," while the slower cycle mixes it up. "Rat meat" gets said a lot, as does "manatee." Today it was being racist, so I am too ashamed to share it.
- I secretly love that she wants me more than anyone else. Not even so secret - I just love it.
- I am ferociously protective of A. I require full hand sanitization before anyone touches her, and refuse to let some people near her at all (particularly a guy at work). I am really nervous to take her to daycare, because I don't want other kids touching her.
- I love her so much, but was unprepared for how much more I miss Maddie even than before. I knew this wouldn't make Maddie passing away okay, but I am grateful to a friend for warning me that this would be incredibly hard.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
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10 comments:
I just love reading your updates! And I will probably be the same way with Liam - I will carry sanitizer everywhere he goes!
And I'm sure having Alice makes you miss Maddie that much more, just knowing what you're missing. (((hugs)))
hahaha I used to make words from my pump too!!!
I have hand sanitizer on the coffee table, beside the bed, in her diaper bag, in my purse, in the bathroom, and a few other places!
We were sanitizer aholics when we first came home from the hospital. Around 8 months old (6 months from hospital), we started lessening but at first, we were crazy about it!
And yes, girls pee in all directions. Maya loves to wait til you have changed her and added her A&D to make a mess).
It does my things so difficult! I love that Brooklyn needs me too! I thought I was the only one who thought like that!
I'm already a crazy sanitizer, as is C, so I can only imagine what we'll be like once J gets here!!!
I know what you mean about missing Maddie more. I know that you talked a lot about it when you were pregnant, too. I never realized that it would be so hard. I knew the pain wouldn't go away, but it seems more raw than I thought it would be for me, already.
Thinking of you.
I got a phone call last night from my husband. He didn't even say anything, just held the phone up to a screaming baby. I left work in a hurry and he gave the baby to me as I walked in the door. And just like that... the crying stopped.
I DID feel bad that my husband had tried for 40 minutes to get the crying to stop. And I felt really bad for my little boy for being so sad. But it felt SO great to be the one he wanted. I didn't let him go all night!
I felt sadder about the baby I lost after W was born... I imagine it would be even stronger for you.
I love the comments on this blog - I love that you guys all have experienced such similar things! It makes me feel better!! :)
That's so funny about the pump. I've read other mom's talking about it talking to them as well :)
I'm sorry about the pain of missing Maddie. Thinking of you!
I can so imagine missing Maddy more now. you want to experience everything with Maddy and Alice. *hugs* I am envisioning these feelings when clover gets here.
The whole daycare thing....I am not worried about other kids touching him, but just someone else caring for him so I can imagine how protective.
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