Due to severe OHSS, we had to freeze our embryos that were graded high enough to do so back in November after retrieval. Freezing an embryo is hard on it - which is why it was so amazing that Maddie and her sibling who was thawed/transferred at the same time both made it through the thawing process perfectly. Both embryos were graded 4AA - she was perfect right from the beginning.
I couldn't wait the full two weeks for the blood pregnancy test after the transfer - I had to take a home pregnancy test at about 7 days. To my sheer amazement (since it shouldn't have shown that early), it was positive - as were the other two that I took in the subsequent days. Our blood tests at the RE's office were about triple what the hcG level should have been - there was a lot of thought that she was twins, up until we had the first ultrasound at about 6 weeks.
That first ultrasound was magical - we saw and heard her strong little heartbeat. She was thriving. The TV ultrasound at about 10 weeks was even more amazing - she looked so perfect, with her little arms and legs. And she was such a little show-off - she started bouncing around and appeared to be waving at us from the moment the ultrasound turned to her. Our baby was perfect - and loved to perform as much as her mommy and daddy do. :)
Since my OB waits until about 24 weeks to do the ultrasound, JTD and I went and got a 3D ultrasound from a local place at 18 weeks - I couldn't wait to see if I was indeed having a little girl. We started crying as we learned that our little miracle child was indeed the girl we'd both been sure she was. It wasn't easy to get all of the different poses of her, however - she moved so very much, kicking Mommy's bladder and sucking her thumb, rolling over to show off that she was perfect and active. She paused briefly enough for us to see her beautiful face - we could tell even then that she had her Mommy's nose:
I am so very glad that we went to that ultrasound - the DVD of it is so very precious to me now, as it's the only way for me to watch Maddie move around. I haven't been able to watch it yet, but it is so important to me to be able to see how strong she was, how much she wanted to live. I have to believe God had her fight that long and hard so that she could get to the point she did, so that she could teach us about my IC and so that we could hopefully avoid this loss with her siblings.
This hasn't come out exactly how I wanted it to, but I wanted to take advantage of a better day to honor the little life that was and always will be.
6 comments:
Even though my loss was so much earlier than yours, we had almost the same due date.
I remember doubting if I should have the NT scan, but now I'm so happy I did. I cherish the memories of seeing my little boy move around.
I'm thinking of you.
Oh, I'm thinking of you, too, Cheryl - I am so sorry for your loss, as well. It's nice to have someone with a similar due date - all of the same milestones that "should be." I too think it was a blessing that we had these scans when we did.
This was such a beautiful post. Maddie's face on u/s- so clear and simply precious! It was like a true snapshot when you see it with her birth picture. Just lovely... A beautiful little girl...
Michele - thank you!! I was so amazed at how clear the ultrasound was, too - I knew exactly how she would look when I delivered her. That means so much to me - I truly am amazed how utterly beautiful my baby is, and it means so much that others think so, too.
Oh Angie, that was such a beautiful post. I love listening to the way you describe Maddie and her movements. Its almost like she was literally doing it live in front of you rather then in your belly. :) The DVD of her movements will prove to be very special to you one day even if you can't watch it right now. She was beautiful. *hugs*
Jess, you are so incredibly sweet. :) I wish I could describe better how active she was, how strong - the tech couldn't believe how much she moved. You're right - I just have to hold on to that knowledge and those memories. *hugs* right back.
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