31 week 4 day OB appointment today. No ultrasound this week (that's next week), but instead did the manual exam.
Heart rate and measuring were good. I somehow dropped a pound again - three weeks ago, they told me I needed to gain a good amount of weight. Two weeks ago, I gained two pounds. Last week, I gained two more pounds. This week, lost a pound - so, I guess I've averaged a pound a week, which is good. I just wish the amounts would stabilize a bit more. Peed on my hand for the seventh week in a row, which was fantastic (I hope the sarcasm relays over the written word sufficiently there...).
We did the manual exam. It was obviously painful, like normal - I was a little worried going into this exam, just because I've been having pretty increased pressure and contractions lately (but, she's getting bigger, so that's expected). He got done with the exam, and said, "It's trying to thin out, but not quite accomplishing it. It's looking as good as can be expected at this point, and just think how it would be if you didn't have the cerclage." I always have trouble with what "effacement" is (I get that it's thinning, but don't entirely understand what it does), so I asked if it was okay. He said that I was "less than a fingertip dilated," which was said in a very positive manner. I know this is all good, and I'm so grateful for it - but I have some questions and concerns. First of all - whose fingertip are we talking here? I can fit my ring and pinky fingertips inside of my husband's wedding ring - there's a pretty big difference. And what finger are we talking? Thumb? Pinky? I know the thumb isn't technically a finger or whatever, but, again, that's a pretty large difference.
I don't want to sound negative at all, but I don't want to be any-tip dilated. Just worried today - I don't want my baby to have to be premature because of my body's inadequacies, and I'm just concerned that she will be (he did not indicate this, nor did I ask, but it sure seems like a thinning/dilating cervix leads to labor eventually). I know people can go weeks and weeks with being dilated, so I'm praying for that, but I also know that part of the reason I got an infection with Maddie was because I was unknowingly dilated (granted, it was a much different situation then, with much more dilation). I just don't know that I can pray the words "happy and healthy" many more times without God becoming really bored.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
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16 comments:
so very very true... every bit of it...
You're doing awesome though- as hard as it is, try not to stress!! You'll make it!!
I know you're right there with me - it's such a roller coaster! I'm so grateful for every bit of it, but I do occasionally cave in to the worries/freak-outs.
You are doing so great and I know you can make it! I am so proud of you and happy for you. I know what you mean about the worries I get them too but I know everything is going to be great. I am always there for you and sending you lots of hugs!
I don't think any of our prayers becoming boring to God...He's there and happy to listen to your repetitive prayers!
You're doing a great job! Hang in there, momma!
Keep on cooking!! You are rocking it!! Look at how far you have come and are doing so well.
Im keeping my fingers and toes crossed that all will continue to go so well.
Thank you for being such an inspiration to me!
Oh, Sweetie, God is not going to be bored with you!
I'm sorry you didn't hear everything you wanted to today. But remember, while 32 weeks is obviously not ideal, the survival rate is very good. If you make it to 34 weeks--and there's no reason to think you wouldn't :)--the chance of risk drops even more! I hope this knowledge helps. I know it's easier to hear/know it than to actually derive comfort from it but you should be proud of yourself for making it this far--you have really accomplished something and it's thanks to you and how you have taken care of yourself. I am so proud of you, Angie and I'm sure Baby Jota is as well!
Big hugs to you today!
I was in church last weekend and I remember what the priest was saying....he was telling us to let it all go and give it up to God....We gotta trust in him. I know thats alot easier said then done and I know that I should take my own advice, but trying. I am praying for you and Jota. *hugs* You are both doing so well and fighting so hard. God will never get bored of your prayers.
You guys are all amazing inspirations to me.
jrose - you are such a sweetie! I am always there for you, too - I just can't wait to see your little bundle of joy in person!
Jen - I need to remind myself of that often! I love hearing it - God doesn't tire of us!
Tiffany - you are such an amazing woman! I'm keeping everything crossed for you, too, sweetie!! :)
Rachel - you just made me smile so much. You put such a wonderful perspective on everything. And you're so right - this is a GOOD place to be. If this were happening at 21 weeks (like it did with Maddie), that's something different. Thank you for being you. :)
Jess - I love the advice! You make me remember that it's just one breath at a time! Sending you lots of love, too!
You are doing a great job!! Great!! It's scary to be any dilated with a PTL/IC history, but you have kept your little one tucked safely inside for 31 weeks! You are doing GREAT!!!
You are doing so well, and that cerclage is doing its job!!! I don't know the specs of a fingertip, lol, but I can tell you that with Madelyn it took 2 rounds of cervidil, and about 16 hours of pitocin to get me more than a fingertip dilated, and just barely at that! So I think there's a pretty big progression from a fingertip to being anywhere near to a scary zone! I think a fingertip is completely normal after 30 weeks!
Jota is going to be just fine. I just know it. And I don't think God gets tired of that at all!!! At least I hope not, because he's getting it from me too. ;)
You are doing awesome! All you can do is what you are doing and take it 1 day at a time!! If she is born soon I pray that she isn't- her chance of survival is very high (don't mean to be Nancy negative).I know its almost impossible not to worry...hoping that there is no more dilating! Thinking of you, hang in there!!
Big, gentle hugs! You are doing awesome, and I would think that if there was any major reason to be concerned, the doctor surely would have said something (not that that allieviates any concern on your part, but you know what I mean.)
(And I know it is probably no help at all, but I started dialating with all my kiddos around 30/32 weeks. Your cerclage has held amazingly well and will no doubt continue to do so until the time is right!)
Michele - I know you know all about it, with the PTL and IC! And I just remembered you were dilated for a long, long time, so that makes me feel better.
Heather - oh, that makes me feel better! I didn't know you were slightly dilated for so long with Madelyn! I'm so glad you guys are telling me about this - it's making me feel so much better.
With Out My Punkin - You're so right, we are in a really safe zone now, even if she were to come that early. I need to keep remembering that, but I keep forgetting it. :) You're so sweet.
Driven to Distraction - I just love you so much. :) You are awesome - and you are so right about the cerclage. They really did a heck of a job, you know?
I'll throw in some happy and healthies for you, too. You are doing great!
Oh, you keep praying for Happy and Healthy as long as you want to...you deserve them both. I will pray for sticky stuff to keep her in there!!!
You are doing a great job, and like I said, I am praying for you to be so overcome with joy that you can't hold back the tears. I want that for you more than you can imagine.
((HUGS)) and **Sticky Power**
Hopefully you'll just stay at a fingertip. With my daughter Kyndra I was dilated for weeks and it didn't really progress.
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