We had originally planned to tell my mom and her parents this weekend at my birthday dinner on Sunday. However, since I'm on bedrest through at least Tuesday, this is obviously not going to happen. I considered sending an e-mail to them that announced the pregnancy and listed the pretty firm boundaries that I need to set, but I don't think that's a good idea - I'm still not getting to tell everyone at the same time, and I don't think they'll read far enough to understand my boundaries. So, we've decided to postpone the dinner and tell them at that time.
Honestly, at this point, I'm also kind of just stalling. I keep thinking about telling those three, and am not filled with elation - I'm dreading telling them, because I think it will increase my stress and decrease the control I have. That to me says a lot, that I'm actually dreading this interaction that should be joyous. That isn't good, and it isn't fair to the baby.
Today's better recovery-wise. I don't think there's really a day when you say, "Wow, it sure felt/feels great to have my cervix sewn shut," but the pressure and everything is less. I'm trying to avoid the Percocet they gave me (I know it's safe for the baby or they wouldn't have given it to me, but still). I'm still worried about certain symptoms, but most things are slowing down.
Friday, January 22, 2010
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16 comments:
I totally understand about you not wanting to tell them! Just make sure your ready and comfortable with it! It seems like they are like my family, my mother had even told her clients! Now that we've lost Wyatt, I would bet she's told that story to even more people than she told I was pregnant.
Glad to hear your feeling better!!! Hugs!
Holy cow, we must have similar stories. It's like they're getting mileage out of our tragedies. I'm so sorry you have to endure that.
Hugs right back - and thank you!
Glad to hear that today is better as far as recovery. I think however you tell them needs to be comfortable for you and the less stress the better. : )
Thank you so much, Jill - for both the good wishes and the advice! I agree - I need to do this in a way that just doesn't involve any stress.
I am so sorry it's such a stressful situation for you...as if you weren't dealing with enough. Familial relationships were so much easier when we were kids (for me, that is)!
I'm glad you're recovery is continuing nicely. I can only imagine how a surgery of this magnitude compounds your anxiety. I hope you're able to relax this weekend :)
Enjoy your birthday!!!
Aw, thanks so much, Rachel! I feel so guilty complaining about it or even thinking this stuff, because this is such a blessing - but I think worrying is just my favorite pasttime. You are so amazing!! :)
Boy that's tough - I think I'd stall too. You, the baby, and your husband come first though, if you think it would be best to wait, then wait as long as you need to.
Glad to hear you're feeling a bit better.
You are so sweet, Jill - it helps so much to hear that! It is nice to kind of realize that it really can wait as long as needed.
I'm so sorry there is so much baggage involved in telling. You're right; it should be a joyous and happy occasion, but I get exactly what you are saying. It's not the same at all, but my grandmother tries to oversimplify my fertility all the time. It drives me nuts. I love her, and I know she loves me, but sometimes the comments she makes that make it all sound so easy are infuriating. The woman had 4 children with no issues; I need her to really understand that IVF does not always equal baby, and that just because I'm trying doesn't mean everything gets a happy ending. I don't know if that makes sense, but that's how I felt reading your post, so I hope I'm understanding you... Good luck!
You know exactly where I stand on this, and I see nothing wrong in stalling (or in wearing a baggy sweatshirt.) Do what you have to do for your own sanity, peace of mind, and privacy.
I am glad you are feeling somewhat better. And if you want to stall, you have every right to do so. Don't feel pressured to tell them before you are ready.
(((hugs)))
S.I.F. - That's one of the main reasons that we didn't tell almost anyone about the embryo transfer this time, because so many people assume that it means pregnancy, and that pregnancy means live baby in your arms. Thinking of you!
F&F - It's so funny, I am actually using your patented "baggy sweatshirt technique" when we see them next to deflect questions! :)
Heather - thank you so much, you're such a sweetie! It means so much to hear both!
Definitely put yourself and tell them when you're ready. If it's not for a while, that's fine. If they're upset about it, that's their issue to deal with, not yours. Good luck with it.
I'm glad you're getting better. I hope you continue to recover well.
I meant them being upset about you not telling them sooner, not the pregnancy, of course.
Megan, you are so right - I figure this is our news and joy, and they can either support or go away. That sounds harsh, but it's true.
Angie, you need to do what you need to do and that includes telling your family when you are ready. You have been through alot with your family from what you have shared. You have every right to hold off.
Hoping all is well and that you are feeling good!!
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