So, I just received a call. When I was about 18 weeks pregnant, my OB’s office had signed me up for this “Healthy Futures” program that a local organization provides for all pregnant women. It’s a really neat program – a nurse calls you to discuss diet and health, as well as preparing you for the delivery process. It is not affiliated directly with the OB or hospital; it’s just a service.
I had received a letter a few weeks ago from the program that a nurse would be calling me soon. I figured out at that time that they hadn’t been contacted by anyone to take me off of the list – I just didn’t have the energy to call them and get them to remove me. I’d be 32 weeks and 4 days today – I guess they must call when you are 32 weeks along, because I just got the call on my cell phone. This wonderfully, cruelly chipper woman called and introduced herself and the program. When I could get a word in, I could only utter the words, “Our baby was stillborn.” She was so kind about apologizing, and then got the heck off the phone.
I don’t know why this got to me so much. Maybe because I was at work and it kind of blindsided me?
Physically - 4.5 Mentally - 6.5
Emotionally - 5.5 Spiritually - 8
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
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8 comments:
Oh Angie. *hugs* It may bother you because its a painful reminder of what should be and not what is. The poor woman on the other end of the phone was probably like most of our friends and family and not sure how to deal with "death." Hope the rest of your day is better.
Thanks so much, Jess. I think you're right - it was just a call I'd been looking forward to three months ago.
The stuff that comes out-of-the-blue are always the hardest for me . . . in the days and first few weeks after Quinn I expected calls from the insurance company and the like inquiring about the usual 'birth' stuff, but after that those things became like swift kicks to my head. I always find it odd that everyone seems to know when a baby is born, and yet no one is notified when one dies.
You've said it PERFECTLY - when I go and get the mail, I expected the bills. I expected the death certificate. You prepare for those, and can mentally get ready when you see the envelope. You're right, though - nobody passes on the information that a little life has been lost.
I"m so sorry you had to deal with this today. Big hugs to you.
Bless your heart - thank you so much, Heather. You're so kind.
Everyone else is right. Those "out of the blue" questions are the hardest. They have services to change all of your addresses when you move... is there anything to remove you from the pregnancy lists? Ugh.
You are so right - after that call, I got the mail on the way home. Apparently Similac, Parents Magazine, and Babies 'R' Us all decided that yesterday was the best day to send me all of their crap.
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