One of the most special moments of my life, and one that I will never forget, was being alone in my hospital room with my Maddie, rocking her and singing her a lullaby. I will likely never share what lullaby it was or many details of that moment with anyone (other than my husband if he wants to hear it), but it's one of the most treasured moments of my entire life.
It made me think of some of the most common lullabies out there, however... and how terrifying they are when you actually listen to them. They seem so cruel to those of us who have lost our babies:
Hush little baby, don't say a word...
Any mother who has held her stillborn or deceased infant knows how the last thing you ever want is for your baby to never say a word. The delivery room is supposed to be loud, active, joyous - when your baby is born silent, the silence of that room echoes and pierces your soul. I can never wish it upon any parent that their baby doesn't say a word.
...[W]hen the bough breaks, the cradle will fall, and down will come baby, cradle and all.
This is such a horrible mental image - and it leaves me with such a sense of helplessness. It illustrates how we can't completely protect these little bundles - a feeling any mother who has lost her child knows all too well.
If God blesses me with another child, I want to make that child feel safe and secure in any way possible. I know that an infant isn't going to take these lyrics the way I do, but part of making the baby feel safe would be for me to also feel good.
Physically - 8 Mentally - 8.5
Emotionally - 7.5 Spiritually - 8
Wednesday, September 09, 2009
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6 comments:
We have sang the same song to our babies when they were born. You Are Mine by David Haas. It's a religious song but part of the chorus is "Dont not be afraid, I am with you. I have called you each by name. Come and follow me; I will bring you home. I love you and you are mine." We always loved the song, and when I was pregnant, I would sing to my belly. After Nicholas was born and I held him in my arms, looking at that perfect, beautiful face, I just found those words choking out. It took so long to get through the verses and the words, and we cried every single time, but it was such a perfect moment, each and every time.
That is so incredibly beautiful - I'd never heard that lullaby before, but I'm going to see if I can't download it. I love the lyrics - but you're right, I can't imagine getting those out while looking at our perfect little ones without crying. That's good, though, I think - the tears show the depth of how you mean it.
The song that Michele is referring to is absolutely beautiful. We used to sing it in my church all the time and always choked me up. Michele told me that story one time and I got teary eyed just reading that. I found this for you on You Tube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vMYP4uJAqY. Its funny you talk about lullabies. I never really thought about the lyrics, but you are right, the words are depressing.
How right you are - traditional lullabies are morbid. My favorite collection of lullabies is one put together by Martha Stewart (go figure) - contemporary songs sung by popular artists. My favorite:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTodf_TAHbI
I still remember so very well how quiet the room was after Quinn was born - the only sound was my crying and the shuffling of papers from my nurse.
Both of those lullabies made me cry. Thank you so much, you guys - that's just amazing. These are ones that I can keep forever - in hopes to sing them to another child, but also to sing them to Maddie.
The quiet in the delivery room is just so horrible and shocking. It's respectful, but it's just not what you expected/wanted.
My husband and I have many times discussed the craziness of traditional lullabies. I tried to sing to Madelyn a few times while I was pregnant and never could get through more than a line or two. The moment you describe sounds so beautiful...
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