Today is one of those days when I feel paralyzed by grief and fear. I'm so afraid of going forward (especially with all of the uncertainty in our lives right now), but it's impossible to go back.
I hate that it takes something like this summer to make me realize how very happy I was before everything started. I wish I'd known and been able to fully be grateful for every moment I had before all of this took over my life. Maddie doesn't deserve to be a source of pain.
Physically - 5 Mentally - 3
Emotionally - 2 Spiritually - 4
Thursday, September 17, 2009
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5 comments:
Angie, it sounds like you and I are at a similar place. I am going to take a chance and call you tonight. Sounds like we could both use it. *hugs*
That sounds great, Jess. :) We should be home after about 7:30 Central.
I know what you mean. I was just thinking the same thoughts today - our Maddie would have been 3 weeks old today. And I just hate time for it - hate time that it will let us go forward but not backwards, or that it won't pause for us when we want it to...
(((hugs))) to you
I'm just so sorry for you, too, Heather. You said it exactly right - time is our enemy right now, because it only goes the wrong direction (and it doesn't do that fast enough).
One day you will be able to feel the joy more than the pain. Somedays it wont feel that way, but one day... One day...
Until then, just one day at a time...
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