I'm tired of feeling like I'm whining on here. I want to make sure that it's entirely clear that I celebrate every second of Maddie's life - the four years trying to conceive her, the 21.5 weeks of pregnancy, the brief time holding her, and now every second she is in my heart.
I feel so selfish that I ache for her here when I know how happy she is in Heaven. I just want her to be filled with joy.
Thursday, October 08, 2009
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8 comments:
Oh Angie you aren't whining. We know you loved and cherished every moment you had with Maddie. Our babies are in the best place they could ever be, but that doesn't mean it hurts that they can't be here with us.
Thank you, Heather. :) It is hard when I just want to make sure I don't come across as one of those people who are ultra-negative. I celebrate Maddie so much, and just want to make sure that's clear (I don't want to dishonor her memory).
Angie, your blog is your way of expressing your grief and sadness. It does not make you a negative person. You loved Maddie and thats ok. *hugs*
That's so sweet of you, Jess - I'm so glad that I don't come across as horrible and negative!
Never, ever apologize for how you feel or the emotions that you express . . . you are entitled to each and every one of them. You are in a crappy place, and it sucks. And all of us understand. Hugs.
That means so much! I wish none of us had to know that. :( But what a great community of support.
You are whining. You are mourning. And mourning doesnt take away your happiness for her joy. I know our children are safe, loved, and happy- what more could any parent want for their child? But it still pains me every second to know that, physically on this earth, I cant hold them or see them. That I will have to wait until we are together again...
Your love and celebration of Maddie's life is very apparent. Very much so.
Thank you so much, Michele - you're right, whatever this is, it's out of love.
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