Most people who are here are already going to be aware of this, but I just wanted to share this as today's blog:
Today (Oct. 15) is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Day. This is obviously a topic very close to my heart, but I’ve got to tell the truth – “awareness” days kind of seem futile to me. It’s great to have people aware of a topic, but what tangibly does it do to just have people “aware” that people lose their babies? That doesn’t even really seem like half the battle – this doesn’t save any babies’ lives.
They recommend that orphaned parents share some of the important things that people should know about infant and perinatal loss, things that we didn’t know before - that this might help people to understand how important this topic is. I suppose I could share a few. Infants born past 20 weeks of gestation have to, by law, either be buried or cremated. It was required that we get a death certificate for Maddie (which we would have chosen to do, but it just speaks to how she was a person in the eyes of the law). Most importantly, there is no set calendar day (like today) for grieving your child – it is every minute of every day.
So then – what can be done that will save lives? That’s simple. Education, research, and prevention. A simple preventative ultrasound could likely have prevented Maddie’s loss, but insurance companies do not cover this. A bill by Senator Frank Lautenberg has been proposed that intends to further the promotion of educating people on and preventing these losses:
http://firstcandle.org/illuminations/lautenberg-bill.html
There is a sample letter on the link provided – what we can all do to actually make today matter is to contact our senators and representatives to support this bill. If you’re a Facebook user, this couldn’t be easier – there’s an application (http://apps.facebook.com/visible_vote/ ) that you can add, and there’s a quick option to fax your support to your local elected officials (it will even fill in their information based off of your zip code) – simply send the letter from the link above in the message box, and our voices can be heard.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
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8 comments:
I saw this on facebook this morning. Thank you for posting. :) Stop by my blog later on tonight or tomorrow morning as I'll be remembering Maddie today. :)
That is incredibly sweet of you, Jess - and touches my heart. Thank you.
I had a hard time deciding if I should write a remembrance to all of our babies, or if I should use this to try and urge people to do something. Still not sure what the correct route was - hopefully Maddie (and all of our children) know that this is my way of honoring them, even if it's not obvious.
Angie, there is no right or wrong answer. :)
I love your proactive approach to remembering our babies. Now you have me thinking - I'm wondering if I could find the research group that works to discover the many genetic issues that have not been yet found so that people like me can at least get an answer, especially as how it affects the future. Anyway, you have my wheels turning, so thanks for that. :)
You're a sweetheart, Heather. That's DEFINITELY worth researching - just an answer of any sort has to be helpful.
I will be thinking of you, your husband, and your sweet, beautiful Maddie today.
There are so many things about losing a baby that I wish people knew, and there are so many things about my situation with Quinn that I want to scream at people . . . birth certificates, death certificates, social security cards, claiming her on our income tax, dealing with our insurance company . . . the emotional aspect is hard enough, but to add all of the paperwork on top of it! One day of 'awareness' isn't enough, but I suspect it is all that people who have not been in our situation can tolerate.
I'm thinking of your beautiful Quinn today, too. :) You're so right - there are just so many things that are associated with all of this. People just assume that a stillbirth is just like an early-term miscarriage, or that an infant loss within a few days is treated like one. There's just so much more to it all - and it still keeps cropping up. I suspect you're right, though - it is too hard for people to think about it any more than once in a while.
Thinking of you...
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