I often find myself slipping into thinking that I "should" be 38 1/2 weeks pregnant right now, that we "should" have our little girl for Christmas.
I always knock myself out of this, though - we shouldn't be anything. This is what we were given, and how we were given her. Maddie isn't "lost" - she's here always, in the way God meant her to be (even if it's not how I want it). Saying "should" makes me feel like I'm negating the life she had and has. I would be 38.5 weeks pregnant, but I'm not.
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
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5 comments:
thinking of you.
Oh Angie how I keep going over and over this in my head. I could have written this post myself. *huge hugs*
Calliope - thank you so very, very much!
Jess - you're great. :) I'm sorry you also have to have this knowledge!
What a wonderful way of looking at this. I like to think that while God didn't "take" our babies, He knew this would happen, and worked it into His plan. I heard something similar from another bereaved mother - she said there never was going to be a time when her daughter lived longer than 2 hours. So I guess that goes along with what you are saying about "should" v. "would". Thank you for giving me this perspective.
That's such a beautiful way to look at it, Heather. I agree - I too believe that God had this plan for our babies from the beginning, that He needed them. :)
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