Friday, November 20, 2009

19 weeks and 3 days - Worry, worry, worry

I'll be five weeks pregnant tomorrow.  I'm only a week and a half out from getting to hopefully hear my baby's heartbeat, and I should get to hear it twice in one week.  My OB wants to see me at 6 weeks to do an ultrasound and make plans for the cerclage, so we'll see him on 12/2.  I then go back to my RE for the 6 week ultrasound the next day on 12/3.

I hate these stretches between appointments, because all I do is worry that something is going to happen.  I worried about it when I was pregnant with Maddie, and I know now what can happen.  At the same time, I realize that there really isn't anything I can do to control this - I couldn't be much more high-risk if I started juggling fire for a living, so there really isn't anything tangible I can do to make this much better.  I wanted to micromanage and over-research everything when I was pregnant with Maddie; now I realize that it doesn't make much difference.  This is in God's hands now.  Just hoping that it's His will for us to have a healthy baby come next July.

5 comments:

Bree said...

I remember my worry before my 1st u/s. I emailed my dr everyday with some concern. I basically convinced myself that there wasn't a baby in there. I get it. I hope the next week and a half goes quickly. There are so many of us due in May- July who are doing cerclages. And, I vowed not to research anything anymore. It just makes my anxiety worse. My best!

Heather said...

I just want you to know I'm thinking of and praying for you. Although I'm not quite to the "pregnancy after loss" stage, I can only imagine the many, many emotions you are facing as I have played in my head several times what it will be like.

(((hugs)))

Donna said...

It's so hard to be left wondering about everything for a stretch of time. I hope your week goes quickly and you see a strong little heartbeat at your next appointment.

Mother Knows Best Reviews said...

Bree - whew, that makes me feel better that I'm not panicking irrationally. :) I didn't realize there were so many of us doing the cerclages until I started going through blogs again! That's awesome to have a community of us! Thank you so much!

Heather - you're such a sweetheart. You're so right - it's pretty much exactly what you expect. Joy, sadness, guilt, fear - all of what you'd expect.

Donna - Thank you so much! I keep checking in on your blog for birthing updates! :)

Michele said...

oh I hope that too... praying