We did the embryo transfer for Maddie on February 26, 2009. I had gotten my hair highlighted and cut midway through that same month before we went on a business trip. Once I found out I was pregnant with Maddie, I didn't want to go and get it done again - both my OB and my RE had said it was okay, but I didn't want to let any dye touch my skin. I was just so careful about everything. Then, once I had Maddie, I just couldn't get myself to go in - I knew I wasn't ready to be in "public" (which it really isn't) for that extended of a period of time.
Well, I'm going in for tonight for the first time. I'm really lucky that a friend's wife is my hairstylist, so I can just take a moment if I need one. I'm really so very lucky to be surrounded with people who care so much about myself and Maddie - I won't get the weird stare from her. It's the little things that make you feel better.
Physically - 4.5 Mentally – 8
Emotionally - 7 Spiritually - 8
Friday, October 09, 2009
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7 comments:
I changed almost everywhere I went after Quinn was born and died . . . I hated having people look at me thinking, "Wasn't she just pregnant?" Oddly enough, I hate even more the people who didn't know I was pregnant to begin with . . . the ones who get that blank look on their face when I tell them that we lost a child. You can't win.
I hope the appointment goes okay.
You are 100% right. There isn't a "good" situation with this stuff - it is just as hard if they know as if they didn't. You want to be asked and not asked about them.
Thank you so much. I made it sound like I'm having surgery or something - it's so minor, but it's... you know... not the couch.
After Nick and Sophie, I cut all my hair off. I couldnt stand to have it long. Then, no cut until after Alexander. Again, I just had to have it gone. It was strange, with this pregnancy, I had it cut pre bedrest and now that the twins are here, I feel like I need to have it long again.
I think you're exactly right, Michele - it's just a change thing. Almost like a fresh start. I'm glad to know I'm not weird in that. :)
Enjoy your haircut! I was just reading the above comments, and I was talking about that today with my grief counselor. It's so hard to know what to do because when I go places where people don't know me and had no idea, I'm angry that they are just going about their lives and don't even notice my pain. Then when I'm around people I know and they ask how I'm doing, that sends me into tears. So it's a no-win situation.
Anyway, enjoy yourself. You deserve it.
Heather, you're absolutely right - each way makes you feel kind a different kind of sad. It's rough, because there really isn't anything anyone else can do "right" - nothing anyone else does can truly make it better, but it's amazing when there are people who want to help us feel better.
*hugs* Angie. People will always wonder, but hey they don't need to know what really happened if you don't want them to. Cry if you need to with your hairstylist. If she truely is your friend, it won't bother her.
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