I admit it. In the past, I was kind of a shop-a-holic. I had a thing for expensive purses, for example – my husband would usually take me to get one each Christmas for my gift (and, when you get a purse, you have to get a wallet, right?). I was always going to the mall for new clothes, etc. I’ve found that a lot of that has changed since losing Maddie. I just don’t really care about a lot of that stuff anymore. I don’t really need to impress anyone, and that stuff just doesn’t matter at all to me personally now. So much gets put into perspective – what you keep, what falls away.
So, I began staring down the barrel of Christmas. My family is wonderful, but our annual gift exchange has evolved into us all just exchanging gift cards of the same amount every year. I’m so grateful for everything I receive, and love giving – but we’re all adults, we’ll just buy ourselves stuff when we need it. There’s no light in someone’s eyes when they open up a Best Buy gift card. So, I had a proposition. Instead of exchanging gifts, I suggested that we all instead donate an amount of our discretion to a charity of our choice. Then, on Christmas Day, we tell each other to where we donated and why in lieu of the exchange. To my delight, they loved the idea. Now, I’m trying to decide to where I should donate. My first thoughts are the National SHARE Foundation, or to LightACandle. I’m going to be doing a similar exchange with a girlfriend whose baby was six weeks premature this year, and I’m thinking that March of Dimes may be appropriate for our exchange. Does anyone have any other thoughts, or is anyone else doing something of the like?
Thursday, December 03, 2009
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17 comments:
I love that idea!!!
This may sound crazy, but we call the babies our little elephants. Elephants are what we had opted to decorate with because we just love them. So we donate money to the Elephant Sanctuary in their memories. This year, for Alexander's birthday, we donated to the Farm Sanctuary. We went there after he was born and just took comfort in the peace of the animals.
For Christmas, we do angel trees for each of the kids. We try to match the ages, but at the least match the sexes and buy gifts for the children.
This is the beautiful idea! And I was always the exact same way about shopping, but my loss has changed that for me too.
This year we are participating in Project Angel Tree in honor of Madelyn. We requested 2 baby girls, and we are supposed to spend $25 on each of them and stuff a stocking for them. We got an 8-month-old and a 2-year-old.
We also have considered making a donation to the SLOS foundation for research.
There are so many wonderful charities out there, I'm sure you'll find the right one.
Michele - that is such a sweet idea! I love it - that is just the sweetest idea! I've been wanting to find something that is Maddie's - that's such a great idea for a tie-in! I absolutely love the angel tree, too - I just need to get it going!
Heather - that's such a good idea. I just love that it's so wonderful for those kids. You guys have inspired me further. :)
I really love the March of Dimes idea and you inspired me to donate to them this year. We are on a tight budget this month but I would like to give something back to that amazing organization. Thank you for the wonderful inspiration!
jrose, you're such a sweetie! :) I know what you mean - I feel bad that this year is tight and that I won't be able to give as much as I want, but hope to keep this tradition alive in the future!
We're doing the same thing this year! We also got tired of the gift card exchange.
I'm going to donate to Fisher House http://fisherhouse.org which is where we stayed for a few nights after I was discharged and Sarah was in the NICU. It's one of my favorite charities. We also plan on making a personal donation to the March of Dimes. Additionally, my parents work at a charter school in a very economically depressed area and, as a family, we're going to give to some of them. It's so much more exciting to me than giving gift cards.
Rachel, that's such an awesome coincidence! That's so wonderful - I love the idea of making a donation to the Fisher House. What a beautiful personal connection. We're thinking about donating to the funeral home that donated their cremation services for Maddie, too...
That's a great idea! I'm happy to hear everyone was on board with it. I agree, although I understand how/why it happens, it is pretty silly to exchange gift cards.
My family is so small, we all still just buy each other "real" gifts (not giftcards... usually). I only have to buy for my mom, and two sisters, and R has to buy for his mom and dad. Pretty simple. If only I could convince the MIL to donate in my name as my gift - she always gets me the most useless stuff. Anyone want a stapler, a set of corn-on-the-cob handles, or a pack of blank diskettes? Ooh I think you've inspired a blog post! hehe
Jill - I love it! You can do a "holiday giveaway" with useless junk you've gotten for Christmas from your MIL! :D That's genius!
I love that you are doing this, and am so happy to hear that your family was so willing to join in! I wish that my own family would find the reward in doing something like this instead of expecting gifts wrapped up and put under the tree.
Each year the organization my husband works for makes a donation to the charity of their choice in each of their names. This year he has chosen String of Pearls (http://stringofpearlsonline.org/).
This is beautiful Angie. I know I won't get my families on board with it, but Mike and I plan on grabbing ornaments from the tree at church. At work we do annual donations and this year I chose the American Cancer Society (lost some family to cancer) and St. Jude's Hospital with the amazing work they do for little ones.
Its funny you talk about material things and I keep thinking I would much rather go through almost anything including the loss of a job if I could have kept Jonathan. Nothing else seems to matter when you become a momma. :)
This is a cute idea, I might suggest it for DH's family. Or better yet, I might ask for people to do it instead of getting stuff for me. I don't want anything this year anyway...
On another note, I was telling my husband about you last night (he's following your story through me - he's now an expert in FET!). He wanted me to tell you congratulations on seeing a heartbeat!
Fishsticks & Fireflies - you're such a sweetie! I totally understand, I don't know if I could have convinced my family if it weren't for the economy this year. I figure I'll take whatever I can get - and thanks for the advice about String of Pearls! :)
Jess - thank you! I understand, it just doesn't really seem important after losing a child.
Cheryl - you are such a sweetheart, and please tell your husband thank you! :) I love it - tell him I'm full of FET info if he ever needs it! ;) I like the idea of just asking your family to do it for your gifts if they don't want to do it for everyone. Thinking of you as you are gathering info!
Hey Ang, hope you are feeling well. What a great idea for christmas. We don't buy for the adults only the kids. I know that the march of dimes is good, Megan Theil (Swanson) has a spot with her daughters name cause she was born at 24 or 26 wks and was in the nic unit for a very long time, also another place that might be good is the childrens cancer awareness for which Courtneys son was diagnosed with. Just some thoughts and ideas since you all have had a very stressful year.
Love and prayers
Amy
Amy - thanks! I actually do currently donate to some children's cancer funds, since I had it myself. Thanks for the tip!
This is such a lovely idea. I happen to work for the March of Dimes so, on the Foundation's behalf, thank you for thinking of making a donation. I have preemies in my family and donate, too.
I also have connections with other charities, in sad as well as positive ways, but I just can't give to them all. We all need to do what we can, but we should do something to help others. Thanks for this great post!
I think it's just amazing that you're doing work to help others in such a capacity, MoDLin! That's just so beautiful! And thank you!
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