Yesterday was pretty rough. I think it might be because Maddie’s 5-month birthday is today, I’m not sure. I feel weak to admit that I had one of those days where I laid in bed for a while and cried for her. I am so grateful for this new pregnancy, and so very blessed – but it doesn’t make what happened to Maddie go away. It doesn’t make me feel better about all of that, it just makes me feel different. More guilty, more… I don’t know. Just more.
Happy 5-month birthday, Maddie. I love you.
Monday, December 07, 2009
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14 comments:
You are allowed to have those days *hugs* I think we always will. Thinking of you today.
Happy 5 Month Birthday Maddie!
Thanks, Jess!
I'm so sorry you had a rough day.
And Happy 5 months to Maddie.
Thinking of you...
Thank you so very much, Heather!
those days are normal, sadly. i still have them.
happy birthday, Maddie.
Thank you so much, Michele - that makes me feel more normal.
We've all had those days (see the comments above). Sometimes the new pregnancy makes me feel sadder about the first one. Now that I'm further along, I feel like I missed out so much on him.
Happy 5 months to Maddie!
Cheryl, I totally understand. I have to keep reminding myself to be present in today.
Thinking of Maddie on her 5 month birthday. I think you are entitled to a day in bed with tears.
Oh, Holly, thank you so much. :)
Thinking of you, Angie! Did you see Maddie's butterfly?
Happy 5 Months to Sweet Maddie!
Something that I try to remember, which came from South Park of all places, is that we're only so sad about our losses because of how beautiful what we had was.
We cry for our babies because of how much we love them. There's nothing wrong with that at all, Momma.
((hugs))
Bree - I just now saw it, and started crying! It's so incredibly beautiful! Thank you!
Oh, Crystal Theresa - I laugh that it's from South Park, but that brings me such a wonderful feeling. Thank you so, so much.
I can only second what everyone else has said - you are certaily entitled to have rough days. Cheryl is right - dealing with what you don't have is sometimes much harder than being happy with what you do have . . . I think it is human nature. Big hugs and Happy 5 Month Birthday, Maddie!
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