I hate negative posts. I try not to make them.
Yesterday was a little rough. I felt just awful - the morning sickness was ramped up so that I slept or was sick all day (for which I am incredibly grateful, because it's a miracle I'm pregnant). JTD and I didn't go anywhere, because this was the fourth holiday in a row that my family decided to postpone or cancel at the last minute (which kind of screws up making plans with our other families). I was having a pretty hard time with not having Maddie here, so I called my dad's side of the family - my grandma (the one who recently found out that she had breast cancer) found out on Christmas Eve that the prognosis wasn't very good, so I heard her cry for the first time since my grandfather died, back when I was 5.
After all of that, we sat at home and kind of tried to focus on the good things, because that wasn't any way to spend Christmas. We are so grateful for each other, for his new job, for Maddie being safe and happy, for this amazing chance to hopefully bring this child into this world. All in all, we are just so blessed. This may not have been the Christmas we'd planned, but we are grateful for the oppportunties we've been given.
Hope everyone had a very merry holiday.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
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9 comments:
I find it so hard because I tell myself all the time how we are grateful for what we have and how blessed we have been, but not having my babies in my arms is just so heartbreaking. I like to think that all of our angels had a great celebration in heaven.
I find each holiday hard to be without the babies. It kills me. I think that, no matter how many years go by, there will be such an ache, even though I am so grateful for all of our blessings and for the simple blessing of having them for even a moment.
Sending hugs...
Jill and Michele - you both put it so perfectly. I'm so grateful for what I do have, but miss my baby girl so much. Hugs to you both - I love the thought of our angels celebrating in Heaven.
I'm sorry your holiday wasn't great. Holidays can be rough.
Thank you so much - that is so sweet of you. :)
I'm so sorry your Christmas was so hard. It seems like there was so much going on for you in addition to dealing with Christmas without Maddie. I am glad you were able to end the day on a positive note though.
Thank you, Heather. :) Same to you.
Its funny since I lost Jonathan it was so easy to dwell on the negative, but Christmas kinda kicked my butt into gear and made me realize that I do have things to be thankful. There are blessings in my life. Its like Christmas brings on a whole new meaning once you have lost a child. *hugs*
I am sorry to hear about your grandmother's prognosis...I will say some prayers. I am glad though that you were able to end the holiday on a positive note.
Thank you so much, Jess. :)
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