I often see people misuse the word “ironic” when they are just describing something mildly coincidental. There are definitely things in this life that are ironic. Getting a positive home test on Maddie’s due date was a tiny bit ironic. Hitting your husband with a golf club when he’s a professional golfer is kind of ironic (or at least shows a pretty well-developed sense of the absurd). Misusing the word “ironic” is a little ironic.
I started thinking about this as I look at the next few days. At 21 weeks and 2 days of my pregnancy with Maddie, I went into the hospital in labor. Thursday will be 21 weeks and 2 days since she was born and taken to Heaven, and we’ll have an ultrasound at the RE that afternoon to look to see if we can find the heartbeat for her little twin brother or sister (we also have an appointment tomorrow morning at the OB). This isn’t really ironic, but it is a somewhat strange coincidence.
Cheryllookingforward, who’s a wonderful woman, has posted before big appointments how nervous she was, but how she felt like she was overreacting by worrying so much. Cheryl, you’re not crazy at all. I’m so incredibly nervous for the next couple of days. I worried that my low-grade fever this weekend hurt something, that every cramp I have is something bad, that we’re going to walk in tomorrow and find horrible news. I just figure that I’ll take the next couple of days as they come, and be happy that I have Maddie and this baby today.
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
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17 comments:
I just went back and re-read some of those crazy-talk posts. I always felt better when I knew that someone out there was thinking of you. You know I'll be thinking and praying and holding your hand all day tomorrow.
I am so crossing every finger and toe and sending up major prayers that everything is fine with this pregnancy and you'll bring home your little one in a few months time. I feel Maddie has her little hands on this one and is guiding this pregnancy for you!
Thank you for your lovely comment on my blog. The support means everything to me!
Cheryl - you're just so sweet! You truly weren't crazy at all - and it just means so much to have your warm thoughts out there. :) I'm just praying for good things!
Lynn, you are just the sweetest thing! You are so wonderful and warm - your support means everything to me, too! Hugs to you!
at this point i can only imagine how worried you must be (i know i will be as well when my time comes). unfortunately we all know the worst of it so, heres hoping everythings great!
You're such a sweetheart, Ali! I think that's it - it's knowing how wrong things can go that makes you so scared. I'm just truly praying this is our time! You're so sweet!
All that we can do is be grateful for this day, this moment. I feel that way right now. As God says, tomorrow will take care of itself. I dont know what tomorrow holds, so I will be grateful for today and for its blessings. And I will take it as though I have no tomorrow so that those I hold dear will know, as much as I can express, how much I love them.
Your blog today just hit home in several ways, Michele. You're exactly right - we do what we can to show our love, and believe that it's enough. I just truly feel like God will do the rest. You're such an amazing woman! :)
This new pregnancy has had some strange new coincidences with Ella, as well.
I so understand your anxiety. I have an appointment today. I have myself convinced that my cervix is completely open and I'm going to lose the baby. I hope the doctor can calm my nerves a bit.
I made a special butterfly for Maddie this weekend. I just need to post it.
Thinking of you- let us know how Thursday goes, okay?
Oh, Bree, I'll be praying for you. I totally understand - I keep thinking that my cervix feels funny or sore, even though the baby is approximately the size of an apple seed at this point. It's that unnatural fear and concern - and it's love. I'll be thinking of you - please post how your appointment goes?
I'm just so touched that you made Maddie a butterfly. :)
Angie, I can imagine the anxiety. I'll be praying for you. *huge hugs* Maddy will be watching over you and your little one. Please let us know how everything goes if you are ok with that. :)
Oh, Jess, you're so sweet! I'll definitely do that! I actually just found out from my OB that I'll also be having an ultrasound tomorrow, so I get two this week! I'll post a blog when I get back to work. Hugs right back to you today!
I think that when you are pregnant after a loss it is impossible to not look for the irony in every single aspect. It is also nearly impossible to not obsess or worry over EVERYTHING . . . aches, pains, appointments, ultrasounds . . . the only thing that will ease your mind is holding a healthy, living baby when the rollercoaster comes to an end. You are in my thoughts this week.
You know all of this far too well! And you're right - seeing the heartbeat (hopefully, hopefully!) will make me feel better temporarily, but only delivering a healthy baby will make this feeling go away. And even then, I'm sure there's always a fear... You're such a blessing! :)
You're on my mind so many times each day. I cannot wait to rejoice with you when you get good news! Everyone has already said it, but these feelings are normal and completely expected but your attitude is wonderful. One of the greatest lessons Sarah has taught me is that you never know what the next moment will hold so all you can do is appreciate what you have right now.
Know you're in my prayers...
Rachel, you are just so sweet - you're in my thoughts and prayers many times a day, too! I just keep hoping that timing will be perfect for you. Your thoughts and prayers are so appreciated and adored - you are truly such a wonderful person. Thinking of you, too! Hugs!
How can you not be nervous? I know I would! Hoping the ultrasound goes well and everything looks great.
You are just so sweet, Holly! I'm keeping every bit of me crossed! :)
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